A Hope Fulfilled by Love

It is the first day of the Love Month and I am curious. Are you in a relationship? If yes, I rejoice with you! If no, are you hoping to be in a relationship? Do you refuse to give up the hope of being pursued and loved? How long have you been waiting for the answers to your longings of love?

I understand how it is to remain hopeful in the midst of pain from a broken heart. I know how it is to wait for years for the answers to prayers. And I experienced how it is to have a hope fulfilled by love.

Here is a love letter I have written in 1996, ten years before I got married to Mosler Paul Lapore. Little did I know that ten years after crafting this love letter, these lines would be spoken by Hazel Lynn Maghuyop as introduction during my wedding ceremony in December 30, 2006 .

Read through, my friends, and realize that God has a way of fulfilling our hopes beyond what we expect or imagine.

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While I’m Waiting

I thought I already have Jose Luis and Isabel in my womb but I was wrong. My menstruation came and I am in pain. For now, it is not just the physical dimension that makes me tired but it is the intense longing for the my twins that leaves me exhausted.

Father, there are times when I could not understand why those who are not planning to have babies end up having babies. Some babies even end up killed through senseless abortions. My heart breaks whenever I hear another case of teenage pregnancy. My soul bleeds whenever I hear babies are unwanted.

In the midst of my deep longings and mounting anxieties,  I choose to be still. Continue reading

To The Girl We Desire To Call Our Own

Dearest Duday,

It dawned on me that you were just one year old when your Daddy Pau and I were married.

When my brother, your Ninong Jojo, first brought you home,

I never thought that our lives would be intricately woven.

Your regular visits made me see you differently.

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To The One I Admire The Most

Dearest Mama Nanie,

Sorry for making you cry on the first day of December.

The letter I wrote for your one true love has pierced your soul,

reminding you of the void in your heart and in our home.

Kaya gusto kong bumawi sa iyo ng bonggang bongga!

Today, I would like to make you smile.

Today, I want to hear you laugh.

Today, I want to tell you and the whole world how much I admire you.

I admire you because you have maintained your svelte figure.

We used to have the same waistline but now mine is almost double your figure!

I salute your discipline.

Mama, I may never be as slim and as fit as you are

but I will do my best to be slimmer and fitter

so I can bear your grandchildren in my womb.

You inspire me to be mindful of my physical well-being!

I admire you because you are full of courage and strength!

At 64, you continue to try new and exciting things.

You never cease to surprise me with your vigor and zest for life!

Each time you dare to get out of your comfort zone,

each time you take that step of faith – I am energized!

I admire you because you have so much to give.

You never get tired of reaching out to others and serving them in love.

You gladly release blessings to those who are in need.

You keep on praying and interceding for everyone.

I admire you not only because of what you are capable of giving,

but because of who you are becoming.

I admire you not only because of what you do,

but because of who you are.

We will have a Joyful Christmas.

That way, we honor the memory of Papa.

That way, we glorify God.

With much love and admiration

from the one you carried in your womb for 9 months

and the one you will carry in your heart forever,

Your Gigi

To The One I Miss The Most

Dearest Papa Joe,

The silver tree is up.

The lights are on.

But you’re not here with us to fill the air with Christmas carols.

I can still recall your reaction when you saw my golden hair for the celebration.

You smiled and affirmed my boldness.

And yes, I can still recall how you giggled when Mama kept teasing you about your receding hairline.

I never thought I would welcome the first day of December

with nagging thoughts about you.

I never thought that December 2007 would be our last year of celebrating Christmas together.

I never thought I would be this sad even with all the red trimmings around me.

I miss you so much, my hero!

Christmas will never be the same without you.

I may be crying a river but I am not depressed.

As I promised you, I will be strong.

I will be a joyful channel of God’s love to the people around me.

I will honor you by being passionate in everything I do.

Opo, Papa– bigay todo ako sa buhay, habang may hininga…

Forever your baby girl,